We are the Music Makers, and We are the Dreamers of Dreams

So after two years of trying to locate my old blog, which has seemingly vanished into the unreachable aeons of cyberspace, I've decided to relent and start up a new one.  Not that doing so would be a particularly effective use of my time, but alas, I am a writer:  I create, I fancy, I lie.  I'm in college.  Why wouldn't I have a blog?

I could try to bridge the gap between the point at which my old blog left off (rewind to: December 2008) and to where this new one begins, but building that bridge would require such endeavor I'd have to forgo the rest of the quarter.  I guess that doesn't weaken the temptation.  If the motivation to continue writing this lingers on - which would signify that people are reading what I have to say (hint hint) I'll easel out the juicier details.  As it is I hope you don't mind a dry mouth.

Let's talk about writing - it's what I do after all.  I'm working on four stories consecutively but disproportionately.  Two will likely remain in Microsoftwordland ad infinitum while the other two may or may not see the light of day.  It sounds like I have more control over their fates than I do, when in reality I feel like nothing more than the squished guts of a gnat on the wall of the fictional "room" I've created.  I've always followed a doctrine that in most fiction, character trumps plot.  In a workshop I participated in last year, I read stories with painfully silly premises (shame there was no prerequisite), but what separated the whimsical from the inane was the amount of depth, of penetration the author was patient enough to allow their characters to sink into.  Depth that speaks far more to the acumen of the audience than Jack and Jill and a pail of water.

I say "allow" because I don't believe an author - hereafter, a god - is truly all-powerful in their written kingdoms.  The paradox of writing is that the more 3D a character seems to be, the less malleable they become.  You put up a canvas for this guy, doodle in a house and picket fence and wife (or wives. or husband.) and maybe give them a last name or a job (these are fun to play around with for us less benign gods), but at some point you hit a threshold.  You won't have a man visit his dying spouse in the hospital and then run home and throw a bachelor party, and if you do, well 1) you present a lot questions in need of answers and 2)...shame!  There are always dots to connect in the face of human behavior.

Writing is a bit like lucid dreaming, in which the dreamer is aware that he or she is in a dream (believed to be a result of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex activating during sleep, in addition to the pons, which are involved in sensory roles like hearing and taste - see, I learned something from my Psychology courses after all).  You have little control over the transpiring events but recognize them as apart from the tangible world.  You can shape your actions as you see fit, but only within the context of that particular dream.

I've found it's easier for me to write female characters than it is male.  It's not necessarily the different capacities for emotional display - I often write very stoic female characters - but for some reason I can just tap into them better.  Perhaps it's just because I am gay and need an outlet for my feminine qualities, or maybe it's reflective of the bond I share with women in real life.  Most of my friends are women (and all of them are young, I swear!).  I have male friends too, including my best friend of 13 years, but my ability to relate, to bond with women is stronger - don't tell him that.  I prefer female writers to male - I know, entirely inappropriate, right?  But it's true, there's a female-to-female love that, if I ever were to wish myself reincarnated as a woman, would be the one reason to do so.  Male-to-male love does not seem to exist in the same fashion. They say a gay man a lady's best friend maketh, but I have not chanced upon similar luck.

So we will see which of my "kingdoms" will grow and which will remain half-thoughts.  All of this of course depends on the amount of time I will have to invest in writing.  With the holiday season coming up, things don't look too prosperous for Jack and Jill.